Hearts Don't Age

Age is an inescapable factor of human life, along with hunger, emotions, and love. We all age. This fact is completely true, and it has the power to give us some beautiful, shared experiences. Birthday Candles by Noah Haidle is a play that focuses on this power. Ernestine Ashworth starts the play turning 17 years old. By the time it’s done though, we’ve seen her turn 18, 50, 70, and even enter her 100s. The play drops in on her birthday over and over throughout her life as the characters in her world enter and exit, all while Ernestine bakes her birthday cake. Yes, she’s really going to bake a cake live onstage. We’re excited too. Ernestine sees the world through many different views as she ages, which raises the question: how does aging change our perspective?

In order to answer this question, I interviewed five women in the community of five different ages. Eliza is aged 5, Evy is aged 10, Audrey is aged 23, Barbara is aged 70, and Sarah is aged 95. I asked all five women the same list of questions and recorded their answers to see what might differ, and what might be the same.

How old are you?

A+ answers all around! Then onto something a little more creative.

What is your favorite food?

Eliza (5): Hot dogs. Why? Because she likes them with ketchup. Just ketchup.

Evy (10): Sushi, more specifically spicy tuna rolls.

Audrey (23): Mom's pumpkin bread.

Barbara (70): Cereal with blueberries.

Sarah (95): Potatoes.

Do you have any pets?

A dog, some cats, a few fish, and one toy puppy named Tiny (which belongs to Eliza (5) until she can have a real pet of her own.)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

One of my favorite questions to ask anyone.

Eliza (5) doesn’t know yet, nor does she have any ideas. That’s okay, she’s got plenty of time.

Evy (10): Zoologist.

Audrey (23) wants to work in theatre, specifically in props -- which she’s doing now, here at FST as our Props and Paint Intern!

Barbara and Sarah, a mother-daughter-duo by the way, thought about this one for a while.

Barbara (70) settled on owning an “interesting bookstore” with both a wine bar and a café for different hours, offering people a place to stay.

Sarah (95) would like to take care of her grandchildren (Barbara explained that Sarah has five children and no grandchildren, so in her dream world this would be the way to go).

What makes you happy?

Eliza (5): Birthdays make her happy. Very fitting for some upcoming questions.

Evy (10): Hanging out with her true friends, the ones she “can trust with anything,” makes her happy.

Audrey (23): The people she’s close with. “Just being able to spend time with them, even if we’re just sitting, like next to each other or near each other, that’s what makes me happy.”

Barbara (70): Spending time with her mother, Sarah (95), along with being healthy and not working the hours she used to.

Sarah (95): Eating.

What makes you sad?

Eliza (5): Her brother used to bite her, and that made her sad. Not cool, little brother.

Evy (10): Being ignored.

Audrey (23): The fact that people don’t live with compassion; “They don’t follow the golden rule.” Though she added that this part was “silly," I disagree.

Barbara (70): People who are cruel.

Sarah (95): Losing almost all her friends. She explained that other than one other person who lives elsewhere, she is the last of her friends left.

What makes you scared?

Eliza (5): “When the lights are off and I hear weird noises, and I think that it’s a monster!” Spooky, Eliza!

Evy (10) has a very large fear of lizards, and also giant squids. She may be able to avoid giant squids, but lizards? Sarasota is definitely testing her bravery.

Audrey (23): The future, the unknown. She fears being naïve.

Barbara (70): Watching the news.

Sarah (95): The way the world is now.

What makes you laugh?

This question may have been my favorite to ask, because every single person couldn’t help but laugh while answering.

Eliza (5): A quote from Elmo.

Evy (10): “Obnoxiously crazy or outgoing” people.

Audrey (23): Simple things, like the crow cawing during our interview.

Barbara (70) uses laughter and humor to get through the hard moments in life.

Sarah (95): Ricky Gervais, of course.

Who inspires you?

Eliza (5) dove into a very detailed story about how one girl at her school brought a “sticky bracelet” (a bracelet with stickers, duh) to school one day, and now everyone has a sticky bracelet, or a whole collection.

Evy (10), who loves acting, is inspired by Meryl Streep. She reflected on how she plays such different roles so well.

Audrey (23) and Barbara (70) both answered that their mothers inspire them. You may have noticed by now that these two have quite a few similar answers.

Audrey (23) explained that her mother is selfless and caring, and she hopes that someday she will “lead with the same gracefulness and love that she has for strangers.”

Barbara (70) added that she has a few friends who live in different parts of the world who have done “amazing things with their lives” and “taken really adverse situations and reinvented themselves.” She also would have liked to have met Bonacelli, naturally.

What does family mean to you?

Eliza (5): “Family means when we’re all together."

Evy (10): “You’re like never really, really, really honest to goodness mad at them like a friend,” says Evy, adding that family is someone you can go home to and laugh with.

Audrey (23): “Family just means love, no matter who it is, blood related or not. It’s just people and things that care so deeply about you and will do anything for you, no matter what.”

Barbara (70): “People that can see you at your best and see you at your worst and still love you.”

Sarah (95): “A circle of people that are close and caring with each other and will take care of each other no matter what.”

 If you were looking for a quote for your loved one’s next birthday card, there are some great options here.

What does love mean to you?

Eliza (5): “When you love someone, you’re always close together.”

Evy (10): “You just know that no matter what, you’re gonna love this person…you know they’re always there for you and always gonna know you, and like you, and love you.”

Audrey (23): "Caring about anyone and anything around you and just giving it the respect and what it deserves.”

Barbara (70): “Trusting vulnerability and feeling safe.”

Sarah (95): “Just enjoying every day of your life with a particular person or several people…they make the day beautiful or sad."

If your heart isn’t warmed by now, I’m not sure what to tell you.

Do you like your birthday?

Of course, I tied some questions into the plot of Birthday Candles. I was met with a majority of yes-es, one “it depends” from Audrey (23), and one no from Barbara (70).

What's your favorite part of a birthday?

Eliza (5): Opening presents and cake, specifically pink cake, because pink is her favorite color. I get you, Eliza.

Evy (10): Cake, along with party themes. She prefers molten chocolate lava cake

Audrey (23) likes being with her twin sister whenever she can for their birthday. She did not choose cake as an answer, but she enjoys chocolate cake, or red velvet, specifically without the cream cheese icing, in case you were wondering.

Although Barbara (70) does not enjoy birthdays necessarily, she does love when everyone is together, getting along, and having fun. She enjoys Boston cream pie, by the way.

Sarah (95): Celebrating with those around her. She thinks cake is just okay.

Ernestine would have plenty of cake options to choose from with this bunch, but I’m not sure she’d trade out her family recipe. Ernestine’s birthday party is a tradition that brings many people into her home over the years, and contains many traditions inside of it, too, such as her cake, painting nails, and playing a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Do you have a favorite tradition?

Eliza (5): Putting up her Christmas tree and trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Evy (10) also looks forward to Christmas, but more specifically Christmas Eve, when her family dresses up in new outfits picked just for the occasion for a seafood dinner followed by matching pajamas.

Audrey (23)'s birthday falls on National Tortilla Chip Day, so she and her twin sister would always go to one of their favorite Mexican restaurants for dinner growing up.

Barbara (70) enjoys looking back on a period of time she would attend Passover at her cousins’ house, where there was always a theme everyone had to adhere to which caused much hilarity to ensue.

Sarah (95): Lighting the candles at Hannukah.

The similarities and differences in the answers I received in this interview led me to some conclusions. As we grow, our relationships change. We’re often surrounded by people around our age in our school years. It’s easier to find people who share your interests, which Barbara and Sarah spoke about with me for a while. Eliza and Evy told me a lot about their friends at school, and it reminded me that we truly are given opportunities for connection throughout our life in different ways, and it’s up to us to grab them. Loved ones can be defined in many ways, and no definition is right or wrong. What matters to us may grow, but they don’t really change. Connection, love, safety, these topics came up again and again in my interviews. We see the world through our own eyes, and in a way, we share the world with our own hearts. We age, yes. Our hearts, though, our hearts don’t age. That’s who we are.